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A shift

Published by Don Gilman on

It’s been a broken week. I’ve just. Shut. Down. Ever since my son’s suicide attempt four years ago, I have really kind of hated the month of December. But then, I woke up earlier than normal today and just felt different. Something has shifted. I don’t know what it was. Then I saw this video by Will Smith and it really resonated with me.

It’s hard to swallow something like this when you’re depressed. I’ve hardly been able to get out of bed lately. But it’s also very true. No one is going to rescue me. It’s not my fault that I had a lot of shame, neglect and trauma in my childhood, but what I do with it now is my responsibility. I’ll probably always struggle with PTSD, anxiety and depression, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do something about it. So for today at least, the motivation is there. I’m ready to go back to work, to seek therapy and to focus my attention on Climb to the Light.

It’s interesting to note that I already had plans to go up Angels Landing today. Some interesting synergy there. But I’m going to make the most of it.

I hope everyone has a positive day. Let’s do our best to move forward and work on our lives to make them the best they can be.


Don Gilman

Don Gilman has been climbing mountains for 20 years, beginning with an ascent of Mt. Thielsen in Oregon in 1998. He has been dealing with severe depression and suicidal ideation since he was nine years old. He also deals with PTSD and anxiety on a daily basis, and uses climbing as a form of therapy. In 2014, he woke up to find his then-13-year-old son had hung himself. Fortunately, his son survived, but that event has become the motivating factor that has made suicide prevention the most important cause in his life.

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